Unexpected Surprises

Unexpected Visitors sometimes reminds us that Life Interrupts...and It Is Good.

We have a neighborhood albino squirrel who has never come to our yard to our knowledge. He came, he peeked, we saw! It was raining slightly, so the pic is a bit fuzzy. He is super cute and was chased out of the tree by a resident nesting Robin. The Robin won. :-)

Book Review: Either Way I Win

ttp://www.amazon.com/Either-Way-Win-Difficult-Times/dp/0806627565

I read cancer journey books, very few, and far in-between each other. I get so caught up in people's "stories" that if the tone isn't in the right setting, I can feel overwhelmed and burdened by them. I weep sometimes, so deeply afterwards. Sometimes the spirit of defeat rings louder than the triumph of overcoming the cancer beast.

Not so with this book. 

Lois Walfrid Johnson is known to many in the homeschooling world as an excellent children's author. She has penned many wonderful series that tickle the adventure and history side of reading for kids. She speaks at conferences, shares with others how to write their own stories, and inspires young readers to adventure with her in novels.

I didn't know she was a breast cancer survivor. One of over twenty years!

Her words in many ways spoke to the depths of my heart. They were sincere, honest and true.

Her exploration of where God was in her own journey was raw, real and healing.
I appreciated her candid honesty in several topics that are hard to hear, hard to read and hard to contemplate. Yet, through out, there was encouragement and answers.

A few chapter titles;

•  Walk Out of Fear
• All Things, Lord?
• Prayer that Makes a Difference
• God's Provision for Wholeness
• Healing from the Inside Out
• and finally, The Season of Singing

This book contains a study guide with questions at the end. It really gave me some great introspective moments as I dug into Bible stories, as I let God's Words minister to my heart.

I would write this book, if I could choose to write one on cancer. This held within its pages all that I would wish to convey to a woman going through breast cancer and facing her own mortality.

Lois asks very important questions that all of us at one time or another address;
How can I grow in fear?
How can this experience change me?
What happens when we no longer take time for granted?
Am I searching for God in my suffering?

The essence and power we gain through experiences shapes who we are. Our very lives.

While so many times I feel the Lord's presence in my life, there are times that I call out and hear nothing, feel nothing back. It's those times I think that I try by my own power to make God into something tangible, something I FEEL rather than who He is. He just IS.

He has never left me.

He never will.

I sometimes grope in the dark, feel along with outstretched hands, and call out feebly in my own weak way. 

This book gives hope.

It gives a song and a prayer to hearts that so desperately need both.

I highly recommend this book. Thank you to the friend who loaned it to me. I am SO grateful.

You can find Lois Walfrid Johnson here: at her website.

You can find this book here: on Amazon or here at the author's store.

Shepherd's Harvest 2013 Mother's Day Week-end ReCap

 

A full bobbin for me on Friday afternoon just primed me for the Saturday I spent out at Shepherd's Harvest this year. Sitting in the afternoon sunshine (have to get it while it lasts around here lately!) I reflected on this fibery event of years passed. A few of them, I have worked. I demo'd knitting Fair Isle Mittens. I've helped sell soaps and moisturizers, creams and natural cleaning products. I have taken classes; how to spin, what to spin and I have just sat and spun! I went the year I was in treatment, tired and bald, with my family as they patiently waited while I looked at things, talked and admired the handknits I hoped I would live long enough to make. This year, I just browsed and shopped. I think I have had the best year yet at this event. I didn't make it out to the arena to see any dogs working sheep, or any shearing of anything bleating and furry. It was so windy and the chill in the air brought a few brief periods of sleet, hail and snowflakes. All while the sun tried to peek through, and the wind howled around the metal buildings. I stayed inside mostly, trotting from building to building. I brought my own healthy lunch from home and ate it later in my truck. 

It was "my year" to do as I pleased.

So I browsed. 

I observed.

I talked to a few people.

I ran into a few friends. 

I reminisced. 

I dreamed of the future. 

And I touched, smelled, admired, ooo'd and aaah'd some wonderful fibers. Here's just a few snapshots I took when the mood struck me. 

This refurbished old Norwegian wheel was the exact replica of my aunt's wheel, Old Blue. I spent some time admiring it. It won a ribbon, and it deserved one.

 Looking through the wheel, perspective!!!

Detailed hand painted designs on the foot treadle...love it!

I believe this one was called Domino. He was really interested in me for some reason. I was looking in my bag for my apple to snack on, and I think he thought I was getting HIM a treat. He wouldn't leave my side and so I snapped his picture. I think he's grumpy about not getting the treat. After I witnessed his buddy spit on another guy, I thought it best to leave Domino to his hay bag.

 Some final thoughts on my fibery Mother's Day week-end...

Who knew that watching a woman, many years ago, her needles clicking, her yarns twisting around each other, producing socks, mittens and other knitterly things, would inspire me so many years forward in my life? 

Who knew that her gentle ways, her caring words in a language I didn't understand, her hugs, her tender hands that I still remember today, would still linger in my memories and love me forward, in my adult life. 

I lost her when I was 12 years old, but I still remember. I think of her now and again, and I am encouraged. 

She was a woman I wish I knew more about. I wish we had had more time together. But her caring for me as a baby, now and again as a young child, and then later as a young lady taught me how language doesn't have to be a barrier. 

There are ways we communicate that words can't even voice. 

 

 

 

My Vetsmom; Olga Roze

Our Mothers

So I have waited to post this one, as I have changed the words at least a dozen times.

I can't seem to get them right. So I am done changing, rearranging, deleting and starting over. I'm just going to write.

As I look at Mother's Day this year, my heart is in a different place than last year. Many changes have happened in a short 12 months.

I was grieving the loss of my grandmother, so fresh and sudden last year. And then had words cut my heart even more on that day. Words can so painfully wound. We should all be so careful with our words and how we use them.

I looked at my children last year, so grateful that their mother had hair, was able to eat with them, to be out and about with them to celebrate the special day, all the while thinking of my own mom and all her Mother's Days spent with a nagging feeling in the back of her mind, "Will this by my last?" or "Thank you Lord for another year..." maybe she thought, "I am so glad I made it through another treatment, another surgery, another cancer scare..."

When you walk in another's shoes it can be freeing.

Or you get blisters.

When you see the journey from a different angle, suddenly life seems so very different than before. 

This year, I am choosing a quiet day with just my children and my husband.

I will maybe work on my garden. Sow some seeds.

While I ache for many, many more Mother's Days with my family, I know that our days are not in our control. For those that deal with health issues, with illness and with cancer at a younger age, with children still needing us daily, Mother's Day may bring a mixture of emotions.

I know that time is fleeting.

That every day, every month, every year that passes bring changes.

I know that in my heart, those changes are expected.

I see in Mother's Day a time to remember LOVE...to remember how we nurture each other and our needs. Not just physical ones, but the soul needs too.

Like the butterfly at transformation, we become free when we live for the moment.

When we rest in assurance that no matter what, we are because He wanted us here right now, right in this moment.

And that no matter how much we love, how much we give our kids, our families...it will never be enough.

Us moms can never fill that empty hole in our children's hearts. For they are born with them. We are all born with those holes in our hearts. We try to fill them.

We put things in those holes, people, things, activities, interests, trips, cars, even animals. But do we ever really fill those holes?

Only the love of God can do that.

For all the mothers reading this; thank you for showing all children, every single one, the start of LOVE, the beginning of what God created, WHY He created,  from the moment we were created. From the start, we give love. Because love was given to us.

Thank you.

Hangvar Mittens Done, Pair # 2 on Needles

These are completed!

As I look at these I marvel at how 2 weeks have passed since my deciding to knit all of these mittens out of The Mitten Book.

How this is only pair #1 but a meaningful pair, none-the-less. 

Alot of prayers were said while knitting these. 

How faithfully God has answered many of those whispered, how many left unanswered as of yet. 

I'm okay with waiting. For now. 

Pair #2 is currently on the needles. 

This mitten is a bit more complex on the counting/stranding end of things...which is okay. I need to concentrate at times to feel like my head is "in the game" and sharp. 

So this pair shall be for another intended family member. She's picked lavender and blues as the colorway. 

As the snow has shown itself AGAIN unseasonably and insanely, I sit here and knit my mittens.

I listen for the quiet, still voice.

As sometimes, in the click-click of my metal needles, there is an embrace so fleeting, so warm, it takes my breath away.

I do believe there are knitters in heaven.

I believe that when we find that talent the Lord has graced us with, we can imagine doing it for eternity, and it thrills us immensely.

All for Him. 

Alittle History, Alittle Prayer

HANGVAR, GOTLAND

Descriptions of beaches that invite you to dip your toes into the frigid waters, the smell of limestone in the air, Baltic sea breezes and sunsets that set your senses into overdrive.

Sounds like a great vacation place, huh?

Many take a vacation excursion to this little area of the island to feel like they are coming "home."

This small parish is one that invites the visitor to stay awhile and picnic.

A quick search on Ravelry shows only 18 projects on this particular mitten pattern, which frankly, surprised me. I expected more.

I see the checkerboard pattern in so many different ethnic knitting books.

How the authors credited this particular pattern with the parish of Hangvar alludes me. I have researched and searched not only the Internet, but a trip to the library as well.

Checkerboard is found in Estonia knitting, as well as Norwegian, Latvian, Lithuanian and Turkish patterns.

It is an easy count, it offers the knitter a rhythmic pace, one that flows smoothly off of the needles. Mistakes are easily caught to be corrected. This is exactly what I have needed this past week.

I found this little quote in my search and thought it worth mentioning;




Health benefits


Studies have shown that knitting, along with other forms of needlework, provide several significant health benefits. These studies have found the rhythmic and repetitive action of knitting can “help prevent and manage stress, pain and depression, which in turn strengthens the body’s immune system”, as well as create a relaxation response in the body which can decrease blood pressure, heart rate, help prevent illness, and have a calming effect. Pain specialists have also found that the brain chemistry is changed when one knits, resulting in an increase in "feel good" hormones (i.e. serotonin and dopamine), and a decrease in stress hormones.

Knitting, along with other leisure activities has been linked to reducing the risk of developing Alzheimer’s disease and dementia. Much like physical activity strengthens the body, mental exercise makes our brains more resilient.
* http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Knitting
I am again reminded what is important in life.

How our seasons can ebb and flow...sometimes together simultaneously.


Part of Ecclesiastes 3 says this;

"⁷ A time to rend, and a time to sew; a time to keep silence, and a time to speak;"

I have the opportunity to voice an ad for women with breast cancer next week. I'm not sure what God will do with this. He may use it in a BIG way. Or not. Either way, I am thankful for the experience, for the chance to be used.

I am humbled and in awe at the timing of events. I know God's time, is not my time. I know He goes beyond the present, and has the future in His Hands.

I am also grateful for those that continue to "pray me through" the challenges that I have faced these past few years. Your voice, your whispers and prayers the Lord has heard!

 Now is my time to "sew" (or knit) and I continue on with my Hangvar pattern. Mitten #2 is on the needles. 

Stay tuned...

One Finished, One Direction

Mine compared to the book picture

One mitten finished over the week-end!

In-between life with kids, bringing them here, dropping them off there, picking them up, and OH YEAH, teaching a beginning knitting class, I was able to finished Mitten #1 of this set. 

I am quite pleased with the final result. 

While I squeezed in a bit of knitting here, and a few rounds there, I found the distraction wasn't really a distraction at all.

"How am I going to squeeze in knitting these mittens and this dream of having my own collection with LIFE?"

This was my initial thought as I embarked on this "selfish knitting project..."

"Somehow, I will make a way..." I vowed to myself. 

The goal of creating this is also watching how this project will shape me in other areas of my life. Being open to the process, being open to how we weave life in with our Creator's plan for our lives. 

God didn't disappoint. In fact, He gets very creative Himself. 

After much introspection and talk, I now have a direction I will go on the latest fork in my journey. I will be open to bunny trails, and bumps, maybe a different path or two off of the "norm" of others. That part is hard. I don't want to travel alone. Nor do I want to find opposition. Words can be so sharp, so condemning sometimes.

God reminded me that sometimes we do need to journey on our own if called. 

I am reminded of John Bunyon's book, Pilgrim's Progress. We read this in our homeschool year awhile back. Sometimes, he journeyed alone, and that was part of the plan. Other times some joined him in his walk, and they either helped, or they hindered him. He got distracted sometimes. He triumphed and made great progress. He had ups, he had downs. Life is like this. 

Peace.

Now this is the greatest blessing of all. When none of it makes sense, when it seems to just not be feasible, and suddenly, it is...well, that is either fate, God, or destiny. 

Coincidence...does coincidence really exist?

Our patterns of life seem to intersect with others for a reason. I have to believe that it isn't an accident. That we will either hinder each other on our journeys, or we will help each other when needed.

Are you hindered? How to unfetter oneself of hinderances....hmmm. I am still working on that part.

Time for a good soak, now that the thumb is finished.

My favorite wool wash from my LYS, makes everything smell nice and softens the wool. I soak in lukewarm for about 20-30 minutes.

Rinse.

Squeeze damp with a big towel.

Blocking

 

Now this is the fun part...

I guess it depends on what we all think is fun...the shaping, the evening out the rough parts, uncurling the furled edges...making the mitten ready for wear. To show the best fruits of our labors...it is sometimes a process that takes shaping. Being put into our places.

Did you know in the Old Country, women would sit on their finished gloves and mittens so as to flatten the stitches, makes them even and nice to look at? 

I feel that part is coming for me. The shaping part that is. Character. Conviction. Making me ready for use. 

There is beauty on the inside. 

The inside of the mitt looks woven to me...

    

You just have to look.

Up First...Pg 72 Pattern from Hangvar

Yarns picked by the recipient of this fine pattern...a mixture of yarns because of trying to match colorway.

I have Knit Picks Essential (super-wash wool/nylon) in a Forest Green color. Next Dalegarn's Baby Ull in Dark Blue and Ull White. Those are from Norway on a yarn trade and are 100% Merino. Finally, the MC is Knit Pick's Palette in Shire Heather, 100% fingering weight wool.

The needles I chose are size US #0 metal pins from Latvia. Only seemed appropriate for the first one casting on...

Now, how many to cast on what to increase for the body of the mitten?

The book only gives a slight hint at what range of numbers to shoot for...so I went with a standby number, CO 64 sts. I increased 20 after the small cuff, to 84, and with this small of needles, that seems to work for a Women's Medium.

As I work the mitten pair, I will share more about Hangvar, as I have been reading about this area on spare moments with my computer. I am browsing background and also on the way this simple checked pattern is found in other regions and in their knitting history...more on that later.

This project right now seems so fitting for me, so calming. 

It was an original intention from years ago...a dream of sorts...knit all these little treasures and have my own complete collection.

Isn't it funny how we have a notion, or a dream and then pass it off as too "lofty" or too impossible to accomplish?

I know with the Lord, all is possible. He tells me that all the time in the Bible.

I know the Lord gives me peace, measurable peace, each and every day. It's ongoing though...and I have to ask for it anew every morning.

If it were plentiful and always there, we wouldn't need to rely on our Creator, now would we?

So as I knit the simple squares and checks pattern, I am reminded of the simpler things in my life. 

Copied repeat on an index card for notes and travel

Listening to my 7 year old read to me out of his reader.
Watching my twin daughters make cookies for Lego Club.

The naughty dog, snoring at my feet, but keeping them warm and toasty.
I think about how I trust in those simple things, and how I have faith that these things are my blessings. That they didn't just "happen." They were given to me as a gift...as something for me to enjoy.

Yes, you gotta have faith.

So many things we could take for granted if we are not paying attention.

Simple.

This mittens are knitting up, quite simply, quite quickly. I am pleased.

I am now just past the thumb hole on mitten #1.

As I look out of my window today, and this white blanket, this snowy wonder in April...I am reminded that life is unpredictable. It changes. Without permission from us.

Yes, that is a bulldozer clearing off our city streets!

It offers challenges, it gives us forks in the road.

New paths to follow.

New people, new friends, new ways to live for the purpose of which I was created for.

I don't know yet where my path will take me, as I am sure yours is a bit of a mystery as well.

I don't know how all these mittens will turn out either.

But I have FAITH that they will be exactly as the creator intended them. Each and every one. And if it isn't quite right, I will keep trying, keep knitting, keep fixing them, until they are.

Why?

Because I won't give up. 

Thumb hole: 16 sts on holder

An Announcement of the Knitting sort...

Out of Print Original

Current edition

Do you own either of these lovely books?

I do! And it was my very *first* knitting book. 

Why do I say 'first'...well, my Aunt Z found out I had learned to knit and I wanted to knit Latvian mittens. We had Great Gram's old ones, some tattered and worn from when we were kids...but she said she had this book, it was similar to Latvian and a bit more like how Great Gram knit hers. 

Well, the book has sat on the shelf for many years now, but the original intention was that I was going to knit some of those bookmarked patterns and think of my Vetsmom. (Great Gram)

I dusted off the book a few days ago and went through my yarn stash. I don't have quite enough fingering weight yarns to finish all 41 patterns in the book, but I am going to try.

Yes, you read that right. 

All current knitting is on hold while I fulfill a very whimsical and lofty dream. 

KNIT ALL THE PATTERNS IN THIS LITTLE TREASURE BOOK. 

Because I am a research junkie, and I enjoy the process of finding out the origins, the story, and the development of mittens, I will dig around and post here what I find on each little treasured pair. 

Some will be adult sized, some child. 

Some will be bright, some very plain. 

Either way, I am doing this selfishly, as I have so many other projects I "should" be working on. 

It's not that I don't care about the others...for I really don't like uncompleted projects. 

This one is for ME. 

This one is to see if I can get through all of them in the next few months, and feel I have accomplished something that so far, I don't think anyone other than the authors may have done. 

Knit every pattern in the book. 

I will critique yarns used, play with the needles and their sizes, clue all you knitters into what worked out and why. 

I will also weave a story into this endeavor. A personal story. I don't know yet how it will end.

The story of hope and survival of traditions. 

The story of this collection of mittens include the authors noting that they came from all around one little island called Gotland. From the sweaterhags, to trading in Sweden, from preparing their wool and dyeing them before knitting, I want to explore this tradition. 

There will be some folklore. Some fairy tales, I am sure. Some historical events tied to certain patterns. 

So let's start out by going back to the little island. 

To Gotland. 

Off the coast of Sweden and set in the Baltic Sea. It is the largest island in that sea. The main town is Visby. 

As you can see Latvia is pretty close too. Many of my Vetsmom's mittens resembled these Swedish mittens, and I have to wonder if someone influenced her in her knitting career that was from Gotland, or Sweden. 

Wikipedia tells me that this island has beaches that are beautiful. 

There are 94 historic churches, (I had to read that 2X too!) most dating back into the 12th and 15th centuries respectively. 

This island is boasted to be the sunniest of Sweden. 

The two main methods used in Swedish knitting were Twined Knitting and Scandinavian Style Knitting which is simply the Continental method of knitting. The yarn (or yarns) were held in the left hand and colors were picked up as needed off of the left index finger. 

The Lovikka Wool Mittens were invented 1892 by Erika Aittamaa from the Lovikka village in the north of Sweden. This too is a different "style" of mittens that hold some Old World charm to the country of Sweden. 

The cuffs are traditionally stitched afterwards with a needle and yarn. Bright colors were used and tails with tassels also adorned the cuffs.

A fun source to read up on your Swedish knitting traditions would be in this issue of Knitting Traditions here: 

 

http://www.interweavestore.com/Knitting/Magazines/Knitting-Traditions-Fall-2012.html

So, I leave you today with the thought that this journey, we will take together. That we will be in for some surprises, I am sure. 

Discoveries along the way. All kinds of discoveries.

I know and believe in God's Providence. 

I believe knitting can be a gift. 

I believe crisis' and trials, they can be used in our lives as well. 

It's time to weave more learning, more thoughts, more yarn tails. It's time to knit together the past, with the present, and onto our future. All of the posts related to this endeavor will be tagged with "The Mitten Book Knitting Project."

It's time. 

Please, leave me a note and let me know you will follow along with me.

Let us journey together.

HOPE for the Hopeless

It's a mixed bag today readers.

Heads up.

I want to write about HOPE today.

Its seems to be a reoccurring theme for me in the past 3 years. 

Is there someone in your life, that no matter what they encounter, good or bad, that the feeling of HOPE is tangible and seems to surround them?

Where does that amazing source come from? Is it a character trait, some have it, some don't? Is it false, or is it real and in reality?

I know some people in my life seem to suck the HOPE right outta me. You know, you feel what little hope you had about a situation, they just dashed it (or tried to) without really meaning to. Sometimes they cleverly take it away from you and you leave the situation without realizing that they stole it until afterwards. You are left empty, doubting and in some cases, hurting. I am finding I have less time for those people than I used to. And yet, there are those that seem hopeless and I find so much joy in filling their empty cups up with HOPE. I am overflowing with it and can't wait to pass some around. I offer words and praises all the while thinking in my heart, "Lord please, fill so-so's cup. He/she needs it horribly right now..."

I think it is that way in the medical community as well.

I think some nurses, medical personnel, doctors especially, can foster a patient's HOPE meter, or deplete it.

So why do we go to doctors that deplete it? Why is it that we continue to seek the advice from those that take that HOPE and try to dose it with their "reality prescription" without really realizing the implications of what this does to a person? People that face crisis, fight for their lives, or face big decisions?

Do doctors gives us false hopes in dire situations? Or do they offer us something that they themselves believe (HOPE) will really be our reality and be the truth? 

I have been told on numerous occasions through out my life that I seem to have alot of hope. I am an optimist. I always see the glass as half full, rather than empty. That somehow, I can squeeze that last drop of positive out of a negative situation.

Is it talent?

Is it unrealistic expectations?

Where is the line between wishful thinking and HOPE filled expectation?

I don't expect a firm answer on any of these questions. I am just full of them.

Why am I so focused on HOPE right now?

Because I am really feeling the need to squeeze some positive out of negative. I am facing some pretty heavy negative right now. And I don't like it. It makes me uncomfortable at times. It makes me agitated if I dwell on it. Think too much. 

I do sense an urgency within me but with a calm, live every minute by minute kind mentality.

From Psalm 37 I read: "7 "But now, Lord, what do I look for? My hope is in you."

It isn't about ourselves. It isn't about a characteristic or a probability that there is NO hope. It's about where the source of the HOPE is. Where it lies. Where it originates. 
 

Psalm 52: I will praise you forever for what you have done; in your name I will hope, for your name is good. I will praise you in the presence of your saints.

In our lives, in our own realities we have dreams. We have plans and we have those things we wish to accomplish.

When something happens to us to change those plans, do we give up right away-or do we continue to HOPE?

I wonder if the Lord has high hopes for us. Each of us. With what we are given. I wonder, if He looks at us and He continues to squeeze the last bit of positive out of our negative sorry selves.

I wonder how many times God has said, "I am not giving up on ______ because he/she will not disappoint me."

When we face those giants in our lives, are we facing them with our own source of HOPE, or with God's source?

If you are feeling hopeless today, if you are wondering where that last drop is going to come from, please PLEASE keep squeezing.

Consider your HOPE source.

Is it coming from yourself, or does it come from the Lord?

Christians aren't delusional...(well, most of them aren't anyways!) they know the well, the deep, deep well, isn't about wishing, it isn't about throwing your quarters in hoping that the bucket will come back up full on it's own. It's going to the well fully confident that the bucket will hold the exact amount of hope you need to carry on. The source of that HOPE isn't from ourselves.

Did you know there are exactly 21 verses through out the Bible that references a water well? That it is something that the people back then desperately lived by, used daily and searched for?  You needed that water well to live. Without a faucet in your kitchen, you wouldn't get very far now would you?!

John 4:11 says, "The woman said to him, "Sir, you have nothing to draw water with, and the well is deep. Where do you get that living water?"

 I believe today we are still thirsting, we are still looking for those deep, deep sources of living water.

Some days I am satiated and full. Some days parched and almost to the point of withering.

This morning, I have hope, I am not thirsty. I know that the source of this for me, is because some are praying, and I want you (who read this and have been praying) to know, God is hearing your prayers.

I am being watered.

And I haven't lost hope.