For My Friend, Elizabeth

My cancer journey 3 years ago brought me a friend that was so unexpected, as I write this today, I amazed that I haven't known her longer.  For it feels that she has been in my life alot longer.

She blessed me in ways I cannot describe. 

Dear Elizabeth showed up at my side during my second chemo treatment. She checked in with me, she prayed with me, she sat one day with my husband for many hours in the hospital waiting for me during some tests. I never asked her to come. She just did. She offered her time, her ears and sometimes her Kleenex. Somehow, she just knew those times we would need her the most. She just knew.

We shared dreams, we shared fears, we shared HOPE, we shared our lives. Our families were so near and dear to us, her children became like my own. I cheered for them as they accomplished goals, I cried with her at their frustrations. She offered homeschooling advice for my teens, we laughed at our attempts to motivate, cajole and get them to understand. We shared a common love, a bond with our lives. Something that cancer couldn't sneak in and rob us of. Happiness. 

We had both had survived chemo treatments for breast cancer and at the end of my treatment, and we had lived to tell the tale. We had coffee chats in the shop now, not in the chemo room. We talked about somehow getting a support system together for other women going through breast cancer, a Bible study maybe? Something to pass on what we had forged together. We excitedly shared this vision with our cancer center, but very disappointed, this was not to be. We let it sit for awhile, talked about different churches that might host a group of battle-worn women, women who needed HOPE, but nothing surfaced for us. Life got busy again.

We went back to our families, to our busy homeschooling lives. To driving the mom taxi around town, to grabbing a quick cuppa' here and there.

In the last year, God has called me forward to further this dream, but alas, and to my great sadness, Elizabeth again went on into battle. Cancer appeared again, this time with a vengeance.  It was my turn to support her, to be with her in her time of need at the chemo chair...to bring our little corner of the chemo room some HOPE, some light, in a place full of broken dreams, lost time and bitterness, pain and side effects...needle sticks and poisons. A place that if looked through the eyes of someone not prepared, could be as scarey as hell. And I do not say that lightly. My turn to bravely sit with, hold her hand and talk of dreams, hopes and goals. My turn to smile when she couldn't, to help steady and offer words when her voice couldn't. I felt in my support of her, that somehow, she was still supporting me. Reassuring ME, that things would be okay. As she tried to treat her body as gently, as best she could, with treatments, operations, diets and rest, movement and song--the body has become so weak, yet the mind and the spirit remained strong.

Her smile, her humor remains.

Her friendship cherished.

Elizabeth, my dear prayer warrior, my pink sister and friend is not doing well.

My heart hurts for her and her family.

My love for her has never been greater.

She is home now, around her family, with the care and the grace so freely that she has given to others over her lifetime, is now being given back to her. For that, I am grateful. She loves her family so deeply.

Elizabeth, in her greatest pain that I witnessed in the ER room, did not condemn anyone for her illness, did not blame it on any one thing--or anyone. She continued to talk praises of what the Lord does, has done in her life. How even in that ER room, we could open the Bible and read words that God wanted us to hear, at that very moment, that calmed our souls. That quieted the pain, the fear. It was a tender moment. One that I know I will never forget. She said to me softly, "The greatest gift is to hear your own child read the Bible to you, the next greatest; a dear friend reading to you."

She is a warrior of incredible strength and might, not by her will alone, but with the help of the very Savior that has/will save her very soul upon her last breath. Whenever the Lord calls her home.

It is for Elizabeth that I am knitting for in the early hours of the morning today.

It is for Elizabeth's physical pain that I cry my tears into my red yarn, it is for her family that will miss her greatly and will shortly feel the pain of losing her in this life. Her husband, her children love her so much. The music students she has taught over the years, will miss her sweet voice and teaching. Heaven is pregnant with its waiting for her. For I feel it is the eve of a big party. That there is a preparation happening.

I will miss her steadfast faith, her strong voice that never complains. Her timing of presence and friendship. Her love of coffee and chat. Her confidence and her love.

It is for Elizabeth that I write out this Psalm here today. For as we all are born, we will all die. There are things in this world we cannot change. But there is One who came to change this for all of us. It is for that One that I pray peace, I pray painless days, hours and moments for my sweet friend.

For Elizabeth.

Psalm 104

Bless the Lord, O my soul!

O Lord my God, You are very great:
You are clothed with honor and majesty,
² Who cover Yourself with light as with a garment,
Who stretch out the heavens like a curtain.

³ He lays the beams of His upper chambers in the waters,
Who makes the clouds His chariot,
Who walks on the wings of the wind,
⁴ Who makes His angels spirits,
His ministers a flame of fire.

⁵ You who laid the foundations of the earth,
So that it should not be moved forever,
⁶ You covered it with the deep as with a garment;
The waters stood above the mountains.
⁷ At Your rebuke they fled;
At the voice of Your thunder they hastened away.
⁸ They went up over the mountains;
They went down into the valleys,
To the place which You founded for them.
⁹ You have set a boundary that they may not pass over,
That they may not return to cover the earth.

¹⁰ He sends the springs into the valleys;
They flow among the hills.
¹¹ They give drink to every beast of the field;
The wild donkeys quench their thirst.
¹² By them the birds of the heavens have their home;
They sing among the branches.
¹³ He waters the hills from His upper chambers;
The earth is satisfied with the fruit of Your works.

¹⁴ He causes the grass to grow for the cattle,
And vegetation for the service of man,
That he may bring forth food from the earth,
¹⁵ And wine that makes glad the heart of man,
Oil to make his face shine,
And bread which strengthens man’s heart.
¹⁶ The trees of the Lord are full of sap,
The cedars of Lebanon which He planted,
¹⁷ Where the birds make their nests;
The stork has her home in the fir trees.
¹⁸ The high hills are for the wild goats;
The cliffs are a refuge for the rock badgers.

¹⁹ He appointed the moon for seasons;
The sun knows its going down.
²⁰ You make darkness, and it is night,
In which all the beasts of the forest creep about.
²¹ The young lions roar after their prey,
And seek their food from God.
²² When the sun rises, they gather together
And lie down in their dens.
²³ Man goes out to his work
And to his labor until the evening.

²⁴ O Lord, how manifold are Your works!
In wisdom You have made them all.
The earth is full of Your possessions—
²⁵ This great and wide sea,
In which are innumerable teeming things,
Living things both small and great.
²⁶ There the ships sail about;
There is that Leviathan
Which You have made to play there.

²⁷ These all wait for You,
That You may give them their food in due season.
²⁸ What You give them they gather in;
You open Your hand, they are filled with good.
²⁹ You hide Your face, they are troubled;
You take away their breath, they die and return to their dust.
³⁰ You send forth Your Spirit, they are created;
And You renew the face of the earth.

³¹ May the glory of the Lord endure forever;
May the Lord rejoice in His works.
³² He looks on the earth, and it trembles;
He touches the hills, and they smoke.

³³ I will sing to the Lord as long as I live;
I will sing praise to my God while I have my being.
³⁴ May my meditation be sweet to Him;
I will be glad in the Lord.
³⁵ May sinners be consumed from the earth,
And the wicked be no more.

Bless the Lord, O my soul!
Praise the Lord!